Now that I have noticed behaviors what will I do? An interesting observation is; a great way to understand yourself is to seriously reflect on everything you find irritating in others.
Because I like learning and exploring possibilities i can share, i started reviewing some of the business articles I have saved. Babette Bensoussan recently shared some of the things she was reading. I met Babette several years ago when she spoke at a networking group and have enjoyed the connection. One of the books she mentioned included a list of random thoughts by Kevin Kelly.
• Ask anyone you admire: Their lucky breaks happened on a detour from their main goal. So embrace detours. Life is not a straight line for anyone.
• Courtesy costs nothing. Lower the toilet seat after use. Let the people in the elevator exit before you enter. Return shopping carts to their designated areas. When you borrow something, return it in better shape (filled up, cleaned) than when you got it.
• No one is as impressed with your possessions as you are.
• Don’t ever work for someone you don’t want to become.
• A wise man said, “Before you speak, let your words pass through three gates. At the first gate, ask yourself, “Is it true?” At the second gate ask, “Is it necessary?” At the third gate ask, “Is it kind?”
Babette also mentioned a you tube video by Brene Brown which really got my attention. She talks about being true to who we are and not letting others tell us who we should or shouldn’t be. We all need to show up, be seen, and be willing to get our asses kicked to get what we desire. We need to be vulnerable which means dealing with uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure.
Which leads to the question of what am I going to do for me to get to a place where the irritants I describe are less a factor in my life and I can do what is needed for me today and tomorrow.
First I know they are who they are and I can’t change them I can only change how I react to situations. Other people especially strangers have no idea how they impact me. It’s up to me to decide my reaction. I will use another machine at the gym or ask if I can share the one they are using. I can switch lanes on the freeway and focus on the book or podcast i am enjoying. It’s my choice If I don’t like the customer service I won’t go there any more.
Marie Forleo recently reminded me “While everyone else phones it in or tries to get away with the bare minimum, be the person who does the OPPOSITE. Be that person who chooses to be OUTSTANDING.”
I will choose to shine brightly right now, to smile at others just because. One kind word. One loving moment of patience. I will be willing to take that one extra step to communicate or demonstrate that I care about the human in front of me. It costs nothing yet, creates ripple effects that return to us a hundredfold. We feel better when we move through the world this way! We are fed by expressing and sharing joy. We feel more connected and loving and whole.
Time for me to look at what is irritating me in others and stop doing it. I will be true to me, show up, be seen and fight for what I want without hurting others. I will set my boundaries. Many are not aware of their impact on me I have to decide if it is of value to me and if I want to be affected by their actions.
If you see me slipping back you have my permission to remind me of my commitment.
We all know how to do this….