I’m late I’m late… No time to say Hello Goodbye I’m late… Is this you? How is your anxiety? What are you missing in your life? Are you spending too much time at work doing projects you didn’t want to do? Did you say yes when you wanted to say no? Have you created boundaries?
There are 7 types of boundaries
1.Physical Boundaries. …
2.Sexual Boundaries. …
3.Emotional or Mental Boundaries. …
4.Spiritual or Religious Boundaries. … Political could also be added here
5.Financial and Material Boundaries. …
6.Time Boundaries. …
7.Non-Negotiable Boundaries.
Why don’t we set boundaries? The number one reason is fear. Fear of rejection or confrontation. Unless we are hermits and don’t interact with anyone, we all want to be accepted, liked and be part of a group. Abraham Maslow in his hierarchy of needs describes the need to be part of a group, no matter the size, as a motivator. Another reason for not setting boundaries may be guilt or shame. Everyone else is doing something I guess I should offer to do it too even if i don’t really want to. The final reason is many of us don’t know how; we weren’t raised that way.
When you set boundaries especially in terms of managing your time, you are able to do more things and do them better. You aren’t rushed. When I started Training Solutions One of my time boundaries related to when I work. Monday morning to Friday afternoon was business time. Yes, I could set my schedule to allow for doctor or hair appointments or anything else, but, and this is important work was first. If I decided to work at night or on weekends that was my choice and I had to assess why i needed to do that. What was I doing during work time that interfered and was it important enough to justify working weekends?
Boundaries affect families. Do we have to got to Aunt… ‘s house? What happens when we don’t? This is what we have always done and what we will always do. What is the expectation? I remember one Thanksgiving when everyone was off doing their thing I slept in watched the parade and relaxed all day. Several people said afterwards they would have included me with their families. Not sure if they understood I was just fine.
Several of the boundaries listed relate to your personal space and beliefs. You have to know what they are and be clear about expressing them to friends, family, and co workers. If they don’t accept them are they who you want in your life? Is that a company where you want to work?
Now let’s get back to the poor rabbit. He doesn’t have time for the tea party or to talk to Alice or to just do what he wants because he hasn’t set boundaries on his time. How efficient is he being on anything he is doing? How good is his performance?
“When we fail to set boundaries and hold people accountable, we feel used and mistreated.” “Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others.” ~ Brené Brown.
Remember boundaries are for you to give you the time to do what you want to do, with and for whom. When you are saying yes to others make sure you are not saying no to yourself and you are respecting your wants and needs.
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