How Do I Love Me?

What is self love and why is it so important today? Self love impacts every aspect of your life, from relationships to work to health to happiness. Often people relate it to being selfish, which they consider a bad trait. Self love means being the best for yourself so you can be good for others.

Self-love is important to living well. It influences who you pick for a mate, the image you project at work, and how you cope with the problems in your life. It is so important to your welfare that I want you to know how to bring more of it into your life.

Before a person is able to practice it, first we need to understand what it means.

Self-love means having a high regard for your own well-being and happiness. Self-love means taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being to please others. Self-love means not settling for less than you deserve.

Self-love means accepting yourself as you are in this very moment; for everything that you are. It means accepting your emotions for what they are and putting your physical, emotional and mental well-being first.

Self-love is a popular term today that gets tossed around in normal conversation: “You have to love yourself more.” “Why don’t you love yourself?” “If you only loved yourself, this wouldn’t have happened to you.” “You can’t love another person until you love yourself first.” These are just a few of the self-love directives we give or get to suggest a way to more living fulfillment. Let’s look at a few ways to love yourself

Know your value. Growing up many of us never learned our value; not because we didn’t have it but more often  family or friends or teachers didn’t know how to teach us how valued we are. If you grew up without any models for self-love or anyone who talked to you about the importance of being good to yourself, you might question its value.

Without self-love, you’re likely to be highly self-critical and fall into people-pleasing and perfectionism. You’re more likely to tolerate abuse or mistreatment from others. You may neglect your own needs and feelings because you don’t value yourself. And you may self-sabotage or make decisions that aren’t in your own best interest.

Self-love is the foundation that allows us to be assertive, set boundaries and create healthy relationships with others, practice self-care, pursue our interests and goals, and feel proud of who we are.

How many times have you “messed up”  and completely berated yourself; telling yourself you are a loser, worthless or just plain stupid. Hate to burst your bubble but we are not perfect. Remember we all do dumb and stupid things. We all make mistakes. That’s being human. Forgive yourself for your actions and remember a mistake doesn’t make you dumb or stupid or worthless.  Learn from it.

Just as with the previous article set boundaries. You’ll love yourself more when you set limits or say no to work, love, or activities that deplete or harm you physically, emotionally, and spiritually, or express poorly who you are.

This is not about being a narcissist and thinking you are better or more important than others. It’s about being the best for you; what you need and want in your life.

Allow the right people in your life.  People come into your life for a reason, season, or lifetime. Learn from each of them. You don’t have to keep them in your life just as they might not keep you. It’s OK. sometimes we outgrow people. There isn’t enough time in your life to waste on people who want to take away the shine on your face that says, “I genuinely love myself and life.” You will love and respect yourself more. Sometimes it’s hard when you see something negative or worst yet toxic in them that others don’t see. We’ve all known people at work or play who others think are terrific  and we don’t. Let it go and move on.